Can I Keep Him?
by CampionSayn
Summary: Frenzy brings home the worst pet ever.


Disclaimer: I own nothing and nothing owns me, even if it paid the big bucks.  
Summary: This little plot bunny popped into my head while reading The Complete Book of Oscar Fashion… I know, I'm sick. Basically, Frenzy, after being found, fixed and brought back from Hoover Dam, finds a certain ex Sector Seven agent half dead in an alley and brings him home to Barricade.  
Warnings: The M is mostly for gore with hints of other things like innuendo.

--=-==-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

"Did you lose whatever you had left of your processing function?!"

"BarribarriBarricade, don't b-be so m-mean. H-he'll make a n-nice pet."

Thinking of something else to say and failing horribly, Barricade simply rested his head on his right fist and sighed. It was useless trying to prevent Frenzy from accomplishing something he set his disturbed little mind to. Regardless of the fact the fleshbag before him had actually been present at Frenzy's decapitation and off lining. Regardless of the fact said human was presently dripping its own fluids all over the cement floor the crackbot had set him upon and probably didn't have long to live anyway, if the piece of metal sticking out of its mid-section was anything to go by. Regardless of the fact the human was probably the ugliest he'd ever set optics on.

Frenzy wouldn't change his mind.

"Where did you even find him, anyway?"

"Oh, j-just behind the building humans g-get energized in. Th-three other humans w-were slagging h-him. It was f-fun t-to watch."

Barricade seemed even more annoyed at that point. Frenzy was scurrying around a bar while the much bigger Decepticon was looking for a safe place to stay? The little fragger said he'd went to gather Autobot information, not human information! And he winds up finding something to irk the Pit out of Barricade at the same time… Fantastic.

Perhaps the Saleen should try reasoning, that sometimes worked if he did it just right and with the added threat of violence in the silver crackbot's near future.

"What exactly do you expect to do with him? Scans indicate he'll be dead in maybe five hours and that's only if you leave that rusted piece of metal in him. He'll be in excruciating pain the whole time as well when he wakes up."

Frenzy's head tilted leftwards, twitching erratically as his optics kept focused on the human and the red liquid that was starting to make its way near his foot. Barribarri seemed ready to pummel him the moment he saw what he'd dragged in and yet here he was speaking logic? Aw, his host must be going soft!

"H-he knows where Witwitwitwicky is, Barribarri. Couldcould be u-useful."

The cruiser's fingers clicked against the ground, thrumming in time with his thoughts. Frenzy spoke the truth or he wouldn't have that malicious yet delighted sound in his voice. Leave it to an expert hacker to find something that could be helpful to the Decepticon cause, but also leave it to this deranged hacker to find it nearing the end of its ability to be remotely in the realm of still having use. If they could indeed get the Witwicky boy with the information this human possessed, maybe Starscream would shut up and actually thank Barricade for once. The chances were, to quote Frenzy, one in forty-two hundred that the Seeker would ever thank them or promote them for anything, but _still_!

Leaning down so he could look at Frenzy directly in the optics, Barricade asked very seriously, "What do you want me to do Frenzy? Should I actually save this human for some info that could turn out to be a complete lie, further glitching off that pathetic excuse of a leader?"

"H-human would owe u-us. Would h-have to paypay us back e-eventually."

About to respond snarling, red optics landed on the set of organic sensors that he hadn't noticed had been open and staring at the two bickering alien robots. How long had the male been awake?

"Frenzy, it appears your 'guest' has onlined."

Making a spin that would send an organic into the realm of nausea or whiplash, the silver minicon rushed to the man, leaning over him curiously, fingers occasionally poking the tender flesh that was still bleeding, the said human making a noise comparable to a groan, but with much less force. Any effort to scream wasn't an option, seeing as he was spewing more blood than he would have liked with the groan.

"Oh… not you again…." Simmons choked, finally realizing through the pain he'd tried to destroy this particular NBE with a flame thrower and shotgun. All in good old self defense of course, because technically, the little menace had been the one attacking him first with those sharp metal projectiles.

Frenzy cackled. The human remembered! Good to know that not all beings forgot him so easily.

"You f-from Sectorsector Seven. You know Witwitwitwicky!"

Flinching obviously as the little monster leaned on his ribs, Simmons did something very stupid. Quicker than a man in so much pain really should have been able to do, the brunette pulled the freakin' pipe out of himself and hit the bot with it. Frenzy actually flew at Barricade with the force of the blow, head bouncing off the black mech's leg a couple times.

Barricade didn't respond at all as Frenzy seemed to enjoy the maneuver the human pulled off. After his little head stopped making that unpleasant clanging noise off of the cruiser, he just sort of grinned at the human as his stuck his own hand into where the pipe had been and made an attempt to stop the bleeding and remain upright at the same time. Not a very smart move on Simmons' part, but at least the bugger wasn't crushing his two broken ribs at the moment.

Quick as a bolt of Summer lightning in the Arabian desert, Frenzy was back beside Simmons, only he kept himself from actually touching him. Simmons still had that pipe and as fun as hitting Barricade was with his whole body, the hacker felt helping this creature out would be more entertaining. At the very least it was something to do, nothing else on this planet held his interest for very long except Barricade and squirrels. And seeing as how Barricade was looking silently over the both of them with finally showing interest and the crackbot had already chased off every squirrel in a twelve block radius…

"You need redred l-liquid? W-what is it?"

"That's called blood and yes I need—Don't touch!"

The feeble attempt to fight off Frenzy's fingers was brushed aside as Barricade held the human down. He knew what his little parasitic partner was doing. Assessing the damage and seeing if just maybe he could prevent the human from off lining permanently until they could get information out of him.

The human stopped struggling completely though, when Frenzy's sharp little fingers found the beginning of the injury, sending a high jolt of pain through Simmons' body. It took all of the brunette's willpower not to cry out. Fuck, why'd he have to go to that bar? In the Sector Seven he'd never have gone out to get drunk, but oh, that's right, he'd lost his job. He had the right to go pity drinking. Still, it would have been nice not to have been identified as a Fed. by some local drug dealers. Such is his luck.

"If you're going to kill me, I'd appreciate it if you didn't dissect me before I kick the bucket, you little—"

Frenzy immediately stopped touching Simmons as the man started choking on blood that began to slither up his throat like vomit. The silver bot's optics twitched when one of the blood drops hit his right optic, impairing his vision about as much as a bug smashed on Barricade's windshield, but it was still irritating.

"Hmm, I think you've just shortened his life, Frenzy."

Frenzy did his best to ignore this comment, slithering one arm under the agent and asking/ordering Barricade in some quick, garbled Cybertronian to change into car form.

"Why?" The Mustang asked, holoform popping up as he did as asked, if for no other reason than curiosity. Frenzy soon had the disgusting creature in Barricade's back seat, blood cool and slippery against the leather, Simmons growling as Frenzy took an actual safety measure and buckled one of the seatbelts around his waist, despite the man lying on his back. It hurt like a glitch, the crackbot could tell, but it was necessary.

"T-take to h-hospital. H-human medic centercenter. H-he'll survive."

"Alright, but again, why? If we send him in, the Autobots will know and we'll get nothing out of him about the Witwicky boy."

Frenzy gave a nasty little cackle, switching Barricade's sirens on, causing the human to give a little jolt when the noise hit his ears and the cruiser started moving. Please, God, don't let him die inside one of these things at high speeds. He'd served his country, albeit from the shadows of secrecy, but he had!

Passing through seven red lights, twelve stop signs and almost hitting an old lady, Barricade made it to County General in exactly ten minutes, twenty-two seconds. The two Decepticons thought it was awesome to finally get to do something like that with a kind of purpose, the human thought it awesome he was still alive. Even after he rolled onto the floor when Barricade stopped rather abruptly before the hospital. Simmons was pretty certain he would be going into shock very soon, his insides almost touching Barricade's floor, after all.

"C-call inside withwith y-your radio-io. Th-they'll come r-right out." Frenzy ordered his partner once more, jumping over the front seat to unlatch the seatbelts from the human.

"Answer my question, Frenzy." Barricade growled, locking all of his doors before his minibot could open them and drag the human to the hospital doorstep.

The hacking little monster tilted his head, considering the best way to answer the partner he'd apparently angered with all this. Why did he want this human to live? Truth be told, he didn't really know, not even a little, but he was good at coming up with things at the drop of a screw.

"T-to slag offoff S-Screamer, why e-else?"

Those were the magic words.

Barricade's engine purred at the thought of causing their new "leader" a motherboard ache and happily opened the door and used his radio to call some of those medic humans out of the building. Frenzy, ever helpful, grabbed Simmons' feet and pulled the human from the Cruiser, cackling at the growls and moans elicited from his lips as his skull hit the concrete with a rather painful sound. If he got a concussion from this… oh, screw it. He'd be happy if the crackbot didn't just leave him in the middle of the freeway.

"H-happy recovery, m-maggot."

Simmons had no time to question Frenzy on what he meant by that as the hacker leapt over the bloody human and straight back into Barricade. Both of them sped off at fifty miles in 2.3 seconds, Frenzy cackling madly and giving a little wave to the human whose head couldn't move as he was bombarded by three doctors rushing out of the hospital.  
_  
Huh, this would be quite the journal entry…._

==-=-=-=-=-=-=-=--=-==-=-===-=-=-=-=-==-=-=-==-=--=-=-===-=-=--=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

This sucks. I know it sucks, just promise not to judge too harshly….


End file.
